Random Journal Post

Feel free to come back to the blog some other day when there is more exciting things to post about with pictures. Today I have just had a ton of things on my mind lately so I am using my blog journal to vent! And they are as follows...

Am I still pregnant?!?!
Here are my reasons for asking the question:
1. I keep having random crazy dreams that I am pregnant. I have a couple of them a week and they are always seriously crazy. Like last nights dream I was in the hospital...in labor...trying to breast feed Alexis in between contractions. Wh-what? I think this whole lack of sleep is finally getting to my brain.

2. I still have cravings like I am pregnant. I didn't breast feed Erika for reasons I won't get into now but Alexis is quite the trooper and took right to breast feeding (as if you can't tell...look at those chubby cheeks and thighs!) So this whole nursing thing is new to me. I get hungry every 2 hours like I did while I was pregnant. I am CONSTANTLY thirsty. I carry around my big hospital jug of water with me everywhere I go. (Can I buy these mugs somewhere because I am seriously wearing mine out!) Oh yeah and the last thing...I crave chocolate like no other. I have to have chocolate all day. If I don' t have any chocolate in the house then I warp into a cooking machine and make anything with chocolate that I can. Its insane....when will the madness end?

3. I have crazy mood swings. One minute the world is happy and I love everything. The next second I want to cry and think my life is falling apart. And it comes and goes about that fast. I think I may need drugs. Of course this is probably just due to my lack of good sleep for the past year!

Next on my mind...

Why are my children growing up so fast?

Erika will go start preschool soon. What happened to my little baby? Ever since Alexis was born that girl has gotten so much older (and sassier). She fell asleep in the car the other day and I carried her upstairs and she is so big! I can't believe how tall she is. Sometimes I just want to cry because I don't want her to grow up! She can melt my heart just by looking at me and saying "I love you Mom" I hope she stays sweet like this forever! I love that she will still crawl into my lap and ask me to tickle her back and snuggle. I am not looking forward to the teenage years.

Alexis was born just a couple months ago and already she is full of so much personality its like she isn't my little baby anymore. I miss that newborn stage that they grow out of so quickly. Its hard to think that before I know it she will be 1...and then I will blink and she will be 2. Its not fair! I want time to sllloooow down.

Next on the list...

Why am I always looking forward to things in the future?

Why can't I just slow down and enjoy what is happening today? I feel like I am missing out on so much because I am more concerned about what is happening this weekend, next week, next month, next season then what is going on that day. Days seem to fly by and my life is just slipping away! Before I know it I will be 50 and all my kids will be grown up! I still have a hard time believing that my baby brother is going to be a Senior in high school...that I have another brother that is old enough to be on a mission...and that the other brother is married...bah! When did we all grow up? I still remember us as little kids playing games in the pool.

Okay thats enough blabbing and no pictures for one day! I am so glad that it is only a 4 day work week...bring on the 3 day weekend!