What do you have for me now...

I've learned to always look for the positive in things despite it seeming like nothing going your way. It seems like the last year nothing has been going our way. We get hit with one thing right after another. And just when we pick ourselves up from one catastrophe another hits knocking us down to our knee's again. I know we are living our lives right and doing the things we are suppose to so things will work themselves out but it just gets tiring being constantly thrown things.

Through all the trials I have learned a few things though. These bad experiences/news help us realize how precious life really is. It helps us to take a step back and realize everything that we have been given and appreciate what we do have no matter how little it is.

Now that things happened almost a month ago I feel more at peace and have calmed down a lot and feel like I can talk about them. When it first happened I was scared and embarrassed and didn't want anyone to know besides our parents. I am tired of always being the sick one and constantly having health problems...when is it someone else's turn?

I meet with my doctor the first of March and did a whole round of tests on my body to make sure everything was in working order and that the baby was progressing and developing in a healthy way. A couple days after the tests I went back in for a regular well baby visit and was told that there were some concerns with the results and they needed me to come back in the next week for an appointment to look at things further. I was told not to worry and that they were sure everything was fine. The following Monday morning I got a call from my dr's office stating that they were extending the procedure from 15 minutes to a full hour as after a closer look at my results I had early signs of cervical cancer. They would do a scope procedure and take a biopsy of my cervix. WHAT?! This had to be a joke right?

A couple days later I met with my doctor and he performed the scope procedure and let me know that he could see the abnormal cell mass on my cervix. At this time he can tell it is not invasive cancer and opted not to do a biopsy at this time. While you are pregnant your cervix has extra blood vessels running through it and doing a biopsy leads to heavy bleeding and in some cases induces pre-term labor and he didn't want to risk a biopsy unless it was necessary to my health and the babies. Since it is not invasive it was not worth the risk.

He was able to tell me that just by looking at the mass he could tell that I have one of two things. I either have dysplasia or cervical cancer. Until a biopsy is done he will not know for sure which one it is though. I will schedule a procedure 6 weeks after the baby is born (so sometime in September) to have a biopsy done and then he will remove (scrape off basically) the mass at the same time.

After he receives the result from the biopsy we will then discuss a treatment plan. If it is dysplasia the treatment takes about a year and then I will need to go in every 6 months after that for the next 5 years to get tested to make sure it hasn't turned into cervical cancer.

My doctor was very optimistic that it was just dysplasia (which is basically a cancer-like mass) but he said if it did turn out to be cervical cancer that I shouldn't lose any sleep over it. It is one of the easiest forms of cancer to treat and since it is in the early stages I would still be able to have future children. The treatment for the cancer wouldn't affect my normal life day to day to much and the only real symptoms I would experience would be loss of appetite and rapid weight loss.

All in all it was a very positive appointment and it's reassuring knowing that I for sure have one of two things instead of the complete unknown of what is going on. I'm going to take the doctor's advice and not lose sleep over it and whatever happens happens. I'm just glad that we caught it in its early stages (whatever it is)!

If you look back you will realize that things happen in God's own time for a reason even though it doesn't seem like that at the time. I didn't understand why it took so long for us to get pregnant or why I got kidney stones while being pregnant when I never have before. Looking back now I know they all happened in order when they were suppose to. Without being pregnant when I had the kidney stones they never would have admitted me to the hospital and done all the x-rays and tests on me to figure out what was really going on. If I hadn't had all that done while I was so early in my pregnancy they wouldn't have done so many follow up tests on me finding the abnormal mass on my cervix. If they hadn't found it now it probably would have been another 3-4 years until I was pregnant again that they would find it. And by then it could have possibly been in the advanced stages of cancer.

I am just glad that through all this our new little one has survived and come out strong and healthy according to the tests and ultrasounds. It would have been devastating to lose a baby that we already love so much even though she isn't here yet!

During this time in our lives we received many prayers and thoughts on our behalf. It's so amazing to be apart of such a large support group and I feel extremely blessed to have so many people thinking about me at this time. Enough doom and gloom...the next post will be more cheerful!